Mahal Ko, Mahal Kita
The Enduring Comfort of the Pinoy Rom-Com
Flames: The Movie is the first movie I remember watching at the cinema. It’s a 1997 romance directed by Khryss Adalia and Jerry Lopez Sineneng. The film stars the iconic love teams of Jolina Magdangal/Marvin Agustin and Claudine Barretto/Rico Yan. I was a big Jolina Magdangal fan when I was five and immediately jumped at a chance to see her in the movie theater. In hindsight, I was probably too young for that film, and I truthfully cannot recall how I was allowed entrance. I remember little of the actual plot, but it was such a joy to see on the big screen.
I continued to watch more romantic movies as I grew up, and I’m not ashamed to say I genuinely enjoy a good romantic comedy. Sure, they tend to be predictable, usually a happy ending, and lend themselves easily and openly to tropes. The Filipino rom-com is chock-full of these tropes: The optimistic, perky girl meets the mysterious, moody guy (A Very Special Love, 2008). A girl falls for her guy best friend (Labs Kita… Okey Ka Lang?, 1998). A man disillusioned by love falls for the hopeless romantic (Got 2 Believe, 2002).
Through Pinoy rom-coms, I learned and navigated the mores of dating and falling in love; the do’s and don’ts of courtship; of when to say “I love you.” I found date ideas to daydream about and romantic lines to use in my diary entries. It’s precisely because of the cheesiest of these rom-coms that I learned to be a hopeless romantic myself. A harana to snag a love interest’s heart? Check. Love letters to make you swoon? You got it. Grand romantic gestures—fancy dinners, elaborate surprises, fireworks? Yes, yes, yes. A surprise run to the airport? A singing flash mob? A surprise run to the airport with a singing flash mob? That’s been done, too (It Takes a Man and a Woman, 2013). Every movie comes with a montage of romantic scenes played to the tune of the film’s soundtrack. These movies hypnotized my teenage heart and made me believe that love was coming for me, too.
As I grew up, love transformed from happily-ever-afters to real-life relationships that require work and commitment, and suddenly the films I love become just a bit too cheesy. And just as love is not without its challenges, you see that rom-coms are not without fault, either. The tropes can become tiresome and the endings become unrealistic. Pinoy movies can be judged as anchored more on the love team than the story. Plenty of films are created to promote a love team’s career trajectory. Love team names and fandoms are born, with the likes of KathNiel, AlDub, LizQuen becoming household names. The love team carries on for several more projects, including perhaps a sequel or a teleserye, and certainly includes the couple in a series of commercials.
But I would argue that despite the predictability of the plot and the cheesiness of its characters, I refuse to label these movies as “shallow,” as some people. It’s as if to say that anything that makes you feel warm and giddy is supposed to be written off as bad entertainment. I still maintain that, when done right, a good romantic movie can be one of the most realistic reflections of life, because how many of us can relate to the sensation of falling in love? Of the longing and anticipation of a love unreturned? The pain and grief of a broken heart? I can even forgive the occasional exaggeration and absurdity, because isn’t that how love feels in the moment—exaggerated and absurd?
And with that belief, I continue to watch Pinoy rom-coms, and I daresay it has evolved splendidly over the years. We still have the popular love teams and the classic movie tropes, but I must applaud the industry for continuing to create new stories that adapt to its audience. We bear the pain of unrequited love (not to mention the beauty of La Union) in I’m Drunk, I Love You (2017). We join Mace as she carries her heartbreak to Sagada in That Thing Called Tadhana (2014). We’re treated to a fun fake-dating/fake-marriage trope in Bride for Rent (2014). We learn if love can forgive and (literally) forget in My Amnesia Girl (2010). And we find if we can still find love in an endlessly exhausting dog-eats-dog world in Hello, Love, Goodbye (2019). And as our culture is closely tied to family, we meet entire casts of nanays, tatays, ates, kuyas, titos, titas, and kapitbahays. After all, it’s never a Pinoy love story unless the whole family weighs in.
Several Filipino rom-coms are still my comfort watches—the kind you can watch repeatedly and find joy in the familiarity. Some lines have etched themselves permanently into our subconscious. “You had me at my best, she had me at my worst, pero binalewala mo lang lahat ‘yon” Popoy tells Basha (One More Chance, 2007). “Mahal mo ba ako dahil kailangan mo ako, o kailangan mo ako kaya mahal mo ako?” Jenny asks in Milan (2004). Marco demanding, “I deserve an explanation. I deserve an acceptable reason!” in Starting Over Again (2016). Iconic scenes stay with you, too, like Laida’s rain dance in A Very Special Love (2008), or the magical mango tree in Forevermore (2002), or even the way Lorenz looks Toni the moment he realizes he’s fallen in love (Got 2 Believe, 2002).
I can think of a few more scenes to share, but as many would agree, the magic of a Pinoy rom-com is best enjoyed firsthand. Watch it alone. Watch it with a loved one. Watch it for the first time and watch it over and over. I watch Got 2 Believe (2002) now and then, if only to 1) relive the kilig; and 2) to imagine Rico Yan gazing at me like that, too.
At the time I’m writing this, “Hello Love Again” starring Kathryn Bernardo and Alden Richards and directed by Cathy Garcia-Sampana, is a month away from its release in cinemas, and you can bet I’ll be watching out for that one. This film will draw squeals of delight and tears of joy or hurt, depending on the direction it takes us. I may or may not cry. I may or may not love it, but I look forward to a good time.
Romantic comedies are judged for being too light-hearted, unrealistic, and predictable,
We watch a romantic comedy to have a good time, and nothing quite cuts it like a Filipino romance. In the same way that kilig has no direct English translation, a Pinoy romantic comedy always hits differently.
A good romantic comedy, when done right, can be one of the most realistic reflections of life, for haven’t we all seen and touched love to some degree? Love, whether by its presence or absence, its entrance or exit, is one of the most extraordinary ways we can feel most alive.
